mirth & marvels

I knew it was going to come up.

For context: I was at a group dinner in Mexico City, DF. Working remotely has its challenges, so on odd occasion I join group events to sate my need for connection (Maslow’s hierarchy and all that)

The meal was pizza. I’m not even the biggest fan of pizza, but the night wasn’t about the meal.

“So what do you do for a living?”

Can we normalize not asking this question?

It always feel like a test to figure out my education level and socioeconomic status. I’m not here to compete with you. The way I live should be all the data you need.

I was at a table with other people from the United States. I say this because in my travels worldwide I haven’t found this to be a common question (though when asked by locals it’s more about the curiosity of how I’m able live in their country for months at a time). It’s invasive.

I hate answering this question.

(And, yes, I realize the irony of claiming this on my website which clearly states what I do for a living. Undecided if I’ll show my face.)

When asked, I responded with a gentle “Can we not?”

I should have been more firm. Instead of it being dropped, the asker decided to turn it into a game in which she invited other people at the table to join in. Suddenly I had a group of strangers dropping guesses on how I support myself.

“Law! It’s got to be something related to legal”

“I say a Project Manager!”

Multiple sets of eyes were on me as they waited for me to confirm one of their guesses. I realized then that I wasn’t going to win this. I was backed into a corner. Either I answered or I was going to alienate these people. I caved, I was upset about it the entire night.

I decided when I started this journey that I will no longer minimize myself for the comfort of others. I’m not perfect, but never again.

No lies. No BS. No explanations. No backing down.

I started on this note for a reason; to celebrate how far I’ve come. Now, on to Barcelona ✌🏾🇪🇸