mirth & marvels

It seems to always come down to “respectability politics.”

Algorithms interest me. I’ve seen many videos on Kelly Rowland’s now viral moment on the red carpet in Cannes. My only takeaway from it is that it’s sad that this moment outshined her appearance, and much of the other press the event received. While she looked great (personally, I was more of a fan of the chartreuse Gaurav Gupta outfit she wore the following day), the image of her with her finger in the face of some random security woman is what she will be remembered for this year.

Maybe it’s because I also live a charmed life of sorts (nowhere near Kelly’s level), but I can’t imagine anything this woman could have said or done that would get Kelly so out of character. And I say this as a Black woman myself. Kelly is famous and wealthy. She is a married mother of two, and has been a celebrity longer than some of her fans have been alive. What exactly does she have to be upset about? Yes, we don’t know what happens behind closed doors, but this is likely the first (and last) time she’s interacted with this woman. What could this woman have done in such a short span of time to warrant that reaction?

Remember your place and remember the usher’s. Regardless of what was said/ implied/ done, you are the talent. You are the one wearing a designer gown and a diamond necklace which, frankly, probably cost more than several years of this woman’s annual salary. If the center diamond is real, most likely more than this woman has earned in her lifetime. Why are you “holding your ground” with an usher? And that’s not the diminish the woman or her position, but power dynamics matter. It’s been disappointing to see the amount of people justify this response.

No one cares if you, Jane Q. Public, “boss up” on the cashier at Chick-fil-A (a more likely scenario for most people). There are little to no stakes for you. The attendees of this event actually have status and money; they have reputations to protect. Rarely ever is it worth the negative PR.

And then there’s Massiel Taveras.

Admittedly, I find it interesting that she was able to skirt by without issue and only after the press was satiated with picking Kelly apart are we now hearing of her behavior. She physically assaulted the same usher. Again, it doesn’t matter what was said. Putting hands on someone if your life isn’t in danger is unnecessary.

However, I’m not surprised. It’s just further proof of what Black women have been saying for years: the same behavior that you demonize in us is viewed as “passionate” for other groups of women. Had it been Kelly that did this, she would have been banned from future events. Guaranteed.

And to consider the irony that Massiel shoved the usher to display *”Jesus” (depending on your interpretation of what Jesus looks like) on her train. Such Christian behavior.

Y’all need to cool it. Seriously. Enjoy your celebrity and stop sweating the small stuff.